I reached home and went to the room and found the screen to be off. As it was day time and Usha would come at any moment to the room I switched off the system without seeing to that if anything was new or not. Usha saw me switching off the system in such a hurry and was now very sure that I now was watching porn things on the internet. I had always wondered off getting some time with Usha in a room or bathroom or at any place and I would give the pleasure she wanted and also would make true all her fantasies. But I had not dared to ask her anything about sex as she was 34 and I was only 21 and also was afraid that she would tell my parents about all that if I dared to do so. One more thing that troubled me was that she had just suffered shock due to her husband’s death and this made me fee sad for her and not to misbehave with her. She went to the bathroom to bath and started to bath. As Usha was now aware of my hobbies and all that I watched on the internet she also began to look. "Stay here and you'll have the love of your family to guide you, the love of good, clean land, and God," that creature who named himself my father had said to me as I packed my bags that last night. "You go to the city and you'll be nothing but a rich man's whore."I damn him for being a sodomizing, incestual sonofabitch. I damn him for the ignorance-loving, self-righteous bumpkin he was. Most of all, though, late at night as I wash Joshua's filth from my soul, I damn him for being right.I'd come to the city, worked my way into the money needed to go to college, and there in some godforsaken class on English composition I'd met my destiny. He'd been quite charming, and willing to spend money to make me happy and keep me happy, and had opened doors to a piece of the city I'd only seen in films and glamour magazines. The shimmer had entranced me even as it had blinded me to the trap I'd walked into, and it wasn't until five years in that I realized when I became his I'd lost all the.
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